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Her Story *
Characters *
Timeline *
My Madness *
Alice Hope
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| And no one asks what she dreams about |
[7/5/29; 11:12am] |
I am so upset.
I cried for an hour or more this morning. Just when I thought my life was going really well.
My cat keeps shitting and pissing everywhere but her litterbox. Now Omar says I have to get rid of her, and as much as I love her I tend to agree.
She has pissed on the sofa multiple times, in our bedroom, on some of our clothes, on my roomates bed, and today she shit on the sofa.
I love my cat so much. I don't want to do this! I just started crying again as I typed this.
Mr. Bunny is like my baby, I dote on that cat so much.
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| Boring update |
[3/17/29; 06:08pm] |
I always feel guilty that I don't reply to anyones post anymore. I say it's because I don't have a computer but I do have access to one. I've just become lazy when it comes to keeping up with my friends. Which I feel terrible about but sometimes I feel like people can put in more effort to >.<
Anyways! I'm working hard all the time. Already the first person in our training that is already walking the floor. My trainer pulled me into his new class and told them, and had them all applaud for me. Which made me nervous and she and I ran out, haha : P
I turn 21 this year on Friday the 13th, and it is the third Friday the 13th in the year.
Got a new tv, and xbox. Also all of the Vampire Chronicles and the Withching ones. Plus a few other Anne Rice books for about 30 dollars. I've come the conclusion I am pretty obsessesed with vampires. >.< I even watched the Twilight movie...which was horribly gay but I still felt compelled to watch it!
Gordon Ramsey is my hero, btw.
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| Fun meme |
[12/8/28; 05:01pm] |
secrets_n_lies
Post the first line of your first blog for each month of 2008... and see how your year shaped up.
JANUARY - DeorcNahtPixie: The only thing I win at in life is breaking people's heart, and FPS.
FEBRUARY - Sometimes some people just make me feel like I can't do anything right.
MARCH - I realize now I am terrified of falling in love again.
APRIL - Why is it that on the East coast all anyone ever does is talk about the Goddamn weather?
MAY - I am starting to lose sight off who I actually am.
JUNE - I am moving to Florida in about 1-2 hours.
JULY -I really hate being without a computer and cell phone. Most of all I hate being around children all day.
AUGUST - For some reason my LJ is going back to 06/06/08 on my friends page.
SEPTEMBER - This sucks. I work two jobs, so I never have a chance to read my LJ. Also, I have been living with Lizeth and Jesse.
OCTOBER-
Tomorrow is the one week mark of my stay left in San Diego.
NOVEMBER - OBAMA FTW
DECEMBER - This one!! Mwahahaha
I'm really not a depressed person people. I just don't feel the need to update when I am happy. Explaining why I don't update much. Omar and I start our new jobs tomorrow. I am happy about it. Seems like a cool place. Plus, I will be working with my baby.
I.Am.Going.To.Marry.This.Man.
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| Fuck man |
[11/26/28; 02:50pm] |
In a month we might be homeless.
No jobs. No money.
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[11/4/28; 11:53pm] |
YES!!!
OBAMA FTW
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| Tonight is the night... |
[10/24/28; 12:01am] |
Got another job at Dominos here in Lake City. I love NOT being in San Diego. I love our pretty apartment with a pool, and I love having my Bunny back.
I love that I do not miss my friends as much as I thought I would. Mainly because I know that goodbye does not always mean forever.
I am SO happy.
We are meant to be together.
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| Something is not right with me. |
[10/7/28; 11:37am] |
Sooo...
Tomorrow is the one week mark of my stay left in San Diego.
Yes. I will miss my friends. But I am becoming very frustrated with all of those that are like "Well why should we invest in you? You're leaving anyways.." I may be leaving but that doesn't mean we can not spend the most time we can together before I have to leave. Why can't you just enjoy me while you have me here, and be happy I am finally getting what i want?
I understand the circumstances to me leaving are kind of odd. As my whole life has been and I don't plan on changing my crazy ways. I love the idea of moving across the country, and the danger of being kicked out with no where to stay. There is more adventure in that then going to the same parties every week in San Diego + Mexican food. Sorry my beloved San Diegans, I am over you and this whole scene.
Like I said before..I will miss my friends here. I do love them very much. But San Diego just isn't good for my mind. Being here for this short amount of time has taught me some things. I was able to do everything for myself. Which is amazing. I went on "dates" with myself even! *thanks Shivawn for that idea!*. I grew up a lot I think.
I am so excited. The 15th needs to get here fast. Oh, and I made an appointment for my first ever Brazilian wax. Which is really weird and tmi! I miss mi pollo and I can't wait to see him again.
Oh yeah and next month in my birthday. I turn 20.
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| Shut up crack head |
[9/13/28; 11:51am] |
This sucks. I work two jobs, so I never have a chance to read my LJ. Also, I have been living with Lizeth and Jesse. Which is fun as hell. Because we always joke around about having a threesome and Jesse isn't a perved out guy.
I am working so hard right now to save up enough money to move to FL. I will probably be driving there. So anyone who lives near the 8 or the 10 freeway should hit me up, i'd like somewhere to stay for the night : P
I miss mi pollo more then anything ever. I don't know when or how I fell so hard for him but I did. I believe leaving FL was probably one of the biggest mistakes and miracles of my life. If I hadn't have left I wouldn't have grown up more, and my self confidence wouldn't have been raised. But I miss mi pollo so much, and he is making it difficult on me.
SO my life consists of working, working, mi pollo, Jesse&Lizeth, and then on the weekends I party.
When the hell did I stop being lazy?!?!
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| I cuss like a sailor. |
[8/26/28; 02:18am] |
One day...
I will work up the fucking courage....
To scream....
"Omar I love you!"
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| Looking forward to life! |
[8/14/28; 11:18pm] |
I've come to realize how I have ruined anything good in my life. I am going to fix that. Really.
Also, my friends are fucking amazing.
I can't wait to start again.
and I couldn't betray a muffin for a cupcake Alex, thanks for reminding me!
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| I don't want to hear your advice... |
[8/10/28; 11:17pm] |
I just want one person to hold me when I am crying... and then...
Look me in the eye, and tell me everything will be alright.
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| Woot |
[8/4/28; 03:22am] |
I love how my nights at home consist of my dad making me margarita's, and making myself frozen pizza. Add some good ole WoW playing to the mix and hey it's a party!
I needed a break from all the constant going out.
I miss you mi pollo : (
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| ack |
[8/3/28; 09:56pm] |
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For some reason my LJ is going back to 06/06/08 on my friends page. I am assuming it has to do with my computer being fixored or something. I don't know. It's weird. I don't know how to fix it.
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| Drink away the pain, it's the only escape. |
[7/27/28; 10:52pm] |
Every memory is of him. Each one reminding me of how fucking happy I was in his arms each night. I don't think I will ever find that kind of happiness again. Not unless I can go back.
God, please don't let me end up like my mother.
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| Not meant for this.. |
[7/24/28; 09:59am] |
So I came back to San Diego. Being here is just not the same anymore. I hate it with a passion. It just brings me down, and makes me miserable.
I am going back to Florida at the the beginning of September. If things don't work out there I will most likely go back to New York.
I will spare you all the gay details of why I want to go back to Fl. But pretty much there is this amazing guy there, who makes me incredibly happy. I miss that. I miss him.
So much for being a California girl....
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| Fuck love |
[7/21/28; 02:24pm] |
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I would do ANYTHING to go back.
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| Fucking hell San Diego |
[7/17/28; 05:34pm] |
You wanted me to leave. I left.
You wanted me to stay. I left.
I left, and now I am fucking miserable without you.
Why must I always fall for the asshole? Why am I whining about this in my fucking gay LJ. I want mi pollo back damnit!!
FYI
Whining about stupid shit like missing your loved one in your LJ is teh gay.
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| Just a bit of bitching.. |
[7/8/28; 08:45pm] |
I really hate being without a computer and cell phone. Most of all I hate being around children all day.
I miss Colin terribly. I feel horrible that I can't respond to anyone! I miss my brother and sister.
I hate that my mother was doing good, and then started to drink again.
Swimming in the Atlantic ocean during Fourth of July was pretty kick ass.
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| Safe and sound |
[6/20/28; 11:08pm] |
So I made it to FL safely. Lake City is pretty much ass, but it does have a Sonic. Plus, awesome Springs and Rivers and shit...Where I actually got a sunburn/tan. Ew.
I miss everyone. Trying to keep up. Been busy with Omar's oldest brother being in town. We had a long talk. He think I am beautiful and smart : P
Everyday I wake up dreaming of San Diego. I miss home more then ever and seriously think about going home all the time.
I miss NY a lot too.
Although being around Omar's family is awesome. Spanish food is amazing. His nephew loves me, his nieces are brats. His sister in law thinks I am pregnant due to some weird sense she has.
We need to get an apartment.
Colin you need to call me. I have been worried sick about you!!!!
States I have been to:
CA, NV, MN, NY, PA, MA, NJ, VA, NC, SC, GA, and FL.
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| Woop woop |
[6/6/28; 02:12pm] |
I am moving to Florida in about 1-2 hours. Fucking moving in 90 degree weather equals epic failure. Being so fair skinned, the second I walked into the sun to throw the trash out I got sunburned. Mother fucker. Oh and last night I got a new tattoo with my friend Heather. Pretty bitching.
Leave me comments to check when I get to FLORIDA!
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| Just an update. |
[5/26/28; 02:27pm] |
I am starting to lose sight off who I actually am. That scares me a bit. Long gone are the days of combat boots and pounds of eyeliner. But I find myself listening less and less to my favorite music. Which I hate. I really do blame it on not having an mp3 player because most of my music listening is done in the car. Oh well : ( *this was brought about because of fucking coarse after I move from San Diego..guess who decides to go play there after years of boycotting it? Psychopathic records. Those mofos!*
Anyways..We are due out of this craptacular apartment in another week or two. Today the weather in NY is humid and gross. How am I going to survive FL?!?! Fucking gay. I don't know if anyone knows this..But I seriously have a white girl afro. When I move to Florida it is going to become twice the size.
Also, living in Florida I might be able to save enough money to come visit home. The cost of living down there is ridiculously cheap! Yay for old people! Hopefully they have better food down there then Rochester does. I swear to God...everything that is like a Rochester food is complete ass. The only thing I kind of like is garbage plates. Rochester when it comes to food = epic fail. They even manage to mess up Chinese. Like wtf man?
Tomorrow is my last day of work! Excited and kind of sad. I really liked it there.
Oh, and I have gone to the evil side of playing Alliance in WoW. Got bored of playing the game..so we switched sides to avoid stoping playing. Can't wait untill Left 4 Dead comes out!! EEEE.
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| When you're pushed killing is as easy as breathing. |
[4/29/28; 06:52pm] |
Why is it that on the East coast all anyone ever does is talk about the Goddamn weather? Is that the most interesting thing they have going on here? I miss San Diego a lot. No one ever talks about how it is always 70 degrees there.
I miss Colin a lot too. Call me you bitch.
My life is going pretty good right now. For some reason I keep getting all these phone calls from my family like "OMG I AM SO PROUD OF YOU YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD RIGHT RAR RAR RAR" because apparently holding down a full time good paying position means my life is good? Well yeah..it's nice having enough money for a gym membership,car repairs, and rent. Also, things with my man are going pretty good.
My dad will not stop nagging me about moving back home. I keep telling him I do not know if I will ever move back home. I may or may not. I don't know what is waiting for me back home. Michael is where my home is at. There is a reason I ran away from home to begin with. You would think San Diego being such a big city I wouldn't be to worried about it...But the man lives literally 5 mins away from my dad and we go to all the same hang out locations. Besides I like it here on the East coast where a lot of people treat me as a oddity because I am a West coast kind of gal.
I am not really sure if this entry made a lot of sense. I only got 6 hours of sleep last night, and I went to work all day. Plus I had the stomach flu yesterday so I am pretty drained. Felt the need to update though.
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| I love you, will you love me back now plz? |
[3/25/28; 08:57pm] |
The more and more I think about it I am getting old. My life will be over before I know it. I will be 30 and hopefully married with children. Then 30 years from that I will be 60 and old.
This year I will turn 20. I already have ONE wrinkle, and gray hair. Wtf.
It doesn't help working cubicle office jobs 40 hours a week.
I got two tickets withing an hour. One for the inspection on my car being up, and the second was for speeding. Well it wasn't a ticket, but a like fine I have to pay for not obeying the speed sign. I got out of a ticket by saying I was from California, and I am used to doing 65. He caught be at 73, I was really doing 85 and was on my cell phone. American cars = meant to go fast. Whut?!
I stressed my self out so badly about it I got a nosebleed. I haven't gotten a nosebleed since I was a little girl. Amazing.
I am cooking again. Tonight mashed potatoes, and meatloaf. The next day we eat roast. Yum.
I love my job, and I will be sad when I get laid off : /
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| Ack |
[3/16/28; 03:52pm] |
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I realize now I am terrified of falling in love again.
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| lol |
[2/18/28; 04:06pm] |
DeorcNahtPixie: I hope so
ColinisCuddly: why do you hope so? it's still an obstacle that may never be passed >.>
DeorcNahtPixie: >.<
DeorcNahtPixie: Because one of my biggest problems is never giving up hope
DeorcNahtPixie: <----has gotten her heart broken a million times because of this
ColinisCuddly: says the heart breaker
DeorcNahtPixie: hahaha
DeorcNahtPixie: It's a two way street baby
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| Yay |
[2/16/28; 11:59am] |
I might be moving to Florida. O.o
what is more important is that he actually wants me to come.
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| I will fucking kill someone. |
[2/11/28; 09:23am] |
My fucking car would not fucking start again this morning. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I had a job interview for this morning, at a place I really want to work at damnit!! FUCK. I had to reschedule, and they seemed really cool about it. But still : /
Also, I have no way to work. Unless my job is crazy enough to give me my co-workers number so I can call for a ride, and offer her lots of GAS MONEY.
NEVER EVER LISTEN TO YOUR CO-WORKER WHEN SHE TELLS YOU TO NOT BUY A NEW BATTERY AND JUST JUMP START IT AND LET IT ChARGE. FUCK YOU DAMNIT.
I can't miss another day of work. Do you know how bad that looks? GROWL plus I need the money.
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| Fuck I feel as though I am following the same path |
[2/7/28; 08:38am] |
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Sometimes some people just make me feel like I can't do anything right. Then other times they come home and do the sweetest things that makes you completely forget what an asshole they can be.
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| It is for the win. |
[1/31/28; 05:33pm] |
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I love driving really fast on the highway, singing as loud as I can, and smoking a cigarette.
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